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FAMILY RULES

Establishing a system of “family rules” about personal safety can be a good way to teach children to distinguish between safe and unsafe situations. Many families already have rules about bedtime, TV watching, chores, etc. By adopting rules about personal safety, parents can teach good habits through reinforcement and repetition without generating excessive fear. The following are suggestions for personal safety rules that can be incorporated into a family routine.

INSIDE RULES

Kids should know their complete home address, telephone number including area code and parents’ first and last names.

If kids are old enough to answer the phone, they should know how to call 9-1-1. Practice with the receiver button taped down.

Kids should be taught never to reveal any personal (their name, school, age, etc.) or family information over the phone unless a parent has given permission.

If kids are home alone and answer a phone call for an absent parents, they should say “she can’t come to the phone right now”, and take a message or tell the caller to try later - don’t make excuses, they sound phony.

It’s okay not to answer the phone, or to work out a code (ring twice, hang up call again) so parents can check on a child that is home alone.

Kids are old enough to answer the door when they are old enough to check the identify of the person at the door WITHOUT opening it. Kids should be taught to check the person’s identity first, and only open the door to persons that have been approved by you.

OUTSIDE RULES

Learn the full names of your kids’ friends, their parents’ names, addresses and phone numbers. Check to verify the accuracy if you get the information from your kids. When your child is at a friend’s home, find out who else is present. Parents? Older kids? Other neighbors? No one?

Know your child’s routes to and from school, play and errands. Insist they stick to the same route – no shortcuts! If you have to look for them, you will know where to begin.

Walk these routes with your child, and brainstorm nearby places that are good to approach (schools, stores, etc.) if they are ever bothered. Kids are reluctant to enter an unknown building unless given permission.

Knocking on the door of a stranger should be the last resort. If they have no other choice they should look for a house with a light on (at night) or toys in the yard if possible. They should not go inside the house, but should tell the homeowner to “please call the police, someone is bothering me.”

Kids should be taught never to go with anyone without your permission.

Even if a child has permission to go somewhere or do something, they should be taught to get your permission a second time if the plans or situations change.

Kids should never play in isolated areas of parks or playgrounds, and should avoid public restrooms, building sites, and dark streets.

Kids’ best defenses are their voices and their legs. Teach them to run away from someone who is bothering them while yelling to attract as much attention as is possible. Have them practice yelling!

Teach kids not to approach cars that stop to ask for help. Most legitimate adults would not ask a young child for directions anyway. If the car follows them or the driver gets out they should run away and yell.

"BAD GUY" RULES

Society teaches kids bad guy are always ugly, mean, and scary and they are usually portrayed as male strangers. Teach kids that “bad guys” can be anyone: they can act nice, be friendly and be attractive. Teach kids that a “bad guy” is anyone who asks them to violate family rules or asks them to keep secrets from their parents.

Remember, a stranger is anyone who is not known by your child. A friend of parents, a friend of the child’s friend or a neighbor can be a stranger.

Some bad guys play tricks on kids. Typical bad guy tricks include bribes (money, toys, games, or promises of those things), lies (your mom told me to pick you up at school), requests for help (my puppy ran away, can you help me find him?), or threats (if you don’t come with me I’ll hurt your mom).

INTERNET RULES

Kids should be taught to never give out or send personal information (photos, addresses, telephone numbers or location of your school) without your permission.

If kids come across or are sent information online that makes them feel uncomfortable, they should tell you or a teacher, and never respond to that type of message.

Kids should never agree to get together with someone they meet online without your prior knowledge and permission.

More information:

Parental education: www.theinternetandyourchild.org

Child education: www.netsmartz.org