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Professor Wrestling: Holiday Letters

You Wondered, He Answered

POSTED: 7:06 pm PST December 20, 2007
UPDATED: 5:09 am PST December 21, 2007

Listen up!

Class is in session.

This week, it's time for the great one (that being me) to answer your electronic mail. There's a lot to get through, so I won't waste your time telling you how great I am. Again.

Podcast: 'Old School, New School' -- Episode 59

The first letter comes from Josh:

Dear Stupid:
Why don't you just quit this stupid wrestling column? Nobody reads it, and those who do are probably stupider than you. I'd rather read about something cool, like NASCAR, or the Green Bay Packers. -- Josh

Well Josh, that last line speaks volumes. I'm OK with you being a NASACAR fan, but the Packers? I hope you regularly wash your Lambeau-only snowmobile suit. I've heard stories.

Hey PW:
I gotta tell you: Your writing is terrible and most of your columns are dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. I think you should bag it myself. Perhaps get a real job. Just thought you'd like to know -- Lonny

Lonny, you wound me. I don't know what else to say, except that if you hate it so much -- QUIT READING IT! (But we all know you secretly can't!) That, and at the age of 42, it's time to move out of your mom's basement. (I love that one.)

Dear Professor:
I'm curious to know which of the WWE Divas is your favorite. Myself, I've always liked Chyna. -- Charlie

Charlie, I think you might need professional help. Fred Thompson is cuter than Chyna. As for my favorite Diva: Mrs. Professor. She's a former dancer and a fabulous babe. And I'm not just saying that because she's reading over my shoulder as I type this.

Professor:
After analyzing your writings, I've come to the conclusion that you're a Democrat. Is that true? -- Hart

No, Hart, it's not true. As a father of two, I'm a Shutuporelseocrat.

Professor:
First of all, I've been watching for a long, long time and I think I have a good eye for great wrestlers. John Cena and Dave Batista are two of the greatest! Not only do they have unbelievable bodies, but they handle themselves perfectly in the ring! -- Dionne

Dionne: They're getting better with experience, but in my book they're nowhere near "the greatest." Keep drinking that spiked egg nog.

PW:
A few weeks back you had a column about "ring memories," our favorite moments at an arena. Are you going to do one of those columns again? -- Jay

Yes, I am Jay. I've been trying to get to it, but I've been distracted with other things. I have plenty of letters for a Part Two, but if anyone out there wants to e-mail me with their favorite arena memory of all time, just send it here. That column will come sometime in January.

Before we close up shop, here's a few letters from students who wrote back on my question a few weeks back concerning what wrestling DVDs you'd like to see. First up, Adam:

Professor:
For starters, I'd have made this collection about 10 years ago, before some of our favorite personalities in the business passed away. The DVD would have been called, "When Wrestling Was Real," which is a joke in itself, but more so a slam about the state of what we know as "sports entertainment" today. The first disc would include interviews with all of the big-name standard villains from Roddy Piper and King Kong Bundy to Big John Studd and Bobby Heenan. It would showcase some of their favorite stories and matches throughout the business.

The second disc would include "Wrestling's Greatest Tragedies," and would include Owen Hart's death, Brian Pillman's suicide, Elizabeth's OD, Eddie's death and even Chris Benoit's murder-suicide. You could capture interviews with wrestlers closest to them, discussing how their deaths affected them. Along with each profile, you could include their best match.

The final disc would include the world's greatest international matches with a section for Japan, Europe and Mexico -- lot's of blood, guts and high flying action. Give me that and I'd be a happy camper. -- Adam

Thanks Adam. Up next, Bob's DVD idea:

Prof:
If I had the power to create a DVD package, it would be on how the glory days of wrestling went by the wayside as a result of the Attitude Era and Monday Night Wars. The last time I e-mailed you, I complained about how gimmicks were fun and that’s why people used to like wrestling -- now all we concentrate on are over-muscled bodybuilders with no wrestling ability (or freaks of nature like the Great Khali, who can barely walk, let alone wrestle).

The discs would include the development of wrestling from true wrestling ability to the days of the gimmicks of WWF and WCW. It would probably start with the development of Hulk Hogan’s character, would include lots of information and footage of classic managers, especially heels such as Jimmy Hart, Bobby Heenan and Paul E. Dangerously.

Of course, I don’t think this will ever happen, since it would have to be an outside source that would create and market it, and would need to acquire all the footage and do the interviews to put it together. -- Bob

Another good one -- a DVD I would buy. Let's close it out with a word or two from Robert:

Dear Professor:
The first one I'd like to do, but will never see, is a Chris Benoit DVD. WWE did one a while back after Mania XX, but I'd like another. I'm not defending the actions of Benoit during the last days of his life, but as an in ring performer, he had no equals in my opinion.

The real DVD I'd like to see is a true Best of Ric Flair DVD. He was featured in Ric Flair and the Four Horsemen, but Ric was just part of the group. WWE did put out something on Flair a few years ago, but it's not as good as Flair deserves. Get some unbiased opinion from Dusty Rhodes, Harley Race, Gerald Briscoe and any of the long list of contenders he faced. An unbiased (non-WWE) look at Flair's true legacy is something that desperately needs to be done right.

Also, and I may be in the minority here, I would love a Bruno Sammartino DVD. I know he and Vince are on bad terms right now, but Bruno made the then-WWWF for Vince and his father. Bruno was probably the most over wrestler on the planet at the time, especially in the Italian-populated New York areas. His matches, while slow-paced to the modern fan, are genius to watch from a psychology perspective. Plus, the biggest heel turn prior to Hogan's joining the New World Order was probably Larry Zbyszko turning on Bruno. His career deserves some tribute. -- Robert

Yep, Robert, I'd love to see both!

OK, time to wrap this one up -- with a plug for our "Old School, New School" podcast, starring Dr. Mike Lano and George "The Authority" Schire. This week, they talk about Edge's new title reign, what wrestling needs for Christmas and the old school DVD they'd give a new school fan. It's EPISODE 59, and you can get it right here!

That's it!

Class is dismissed!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting, hailing from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )



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