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Neb. Mom Ponders Abandoning Wild Teen

Save Haven Law To Be Restricted

Friday, November 21, 2008 – updated: 1:54 am PST November 21, 2008

As state lawmakers are about to amend the Safe Haven law, a local mother is facing a tough decision. She said she's thinking about dropping off her teenage son before the Safe Haven law changes.

The woman called the TV station KETV in Omaha and said she's at her wit's end trying to get help for her son.

"All I'm getting is head shaking and 'I understand' and patting me on my back," she said. "I don't need that."

What the woman, who chose to remain anonymous, said she needs is some help for her 13-year-old son. She said the boy is like something out of Hollywood's "Halloween" movies.

"I feel like I'm raising Michael Myers," she said.

The mother said her son was kicked out of school after beating up a handicapped student. She said he beats up his little brother, steals and smokes cigarettes and marijuana. The woman said she feels threatened while she's sleeping.

"He walks around the house in the middle of the night and stalks. Do you know what I'm saying? (He) stands over you while you're sleeping and goes through things," she said. "I don't feel safe."

She said she's also worried that her son may be acting out sexually, possibly abusing a younger child.

"I know he punks him. I know he threatens him," she said.

The woman said the school district referred her to the Child Saving Institute but her son was too manipulative and fooled the therapists. She said she also made her son watch the news to see reports that a mother had come to Nebraska from Georgia to drop off her child.

"And I told him, 'That's how I feel. The hospital is right around the corner, and I could just jump in the car and go drop you off. That's how much I'm fed up. I don't know what else to do,'" she said. "And he sat there, and he just looked at the floor."

She said she wants to use the Safe Haven law but is worried that he'll be abused in the system or could be thrown into a home where he's not loved and will continue to rebel.

"I definitely don't want him to think I don't want him," she said. "But I feel that it's the only way that he can get some help. I don't want him in prison for 10 years."

The woman said she understands that people may question her parenting skills or will think she's giving up on her son without pursuing all the avenues of help. She said she has five other children and readily admits that maybe she's made mistakes as a mom, but she doesn't know what else to do.

"If anybody can show me a different parenting skill or a different agency or a different road to take other than using this law, I'll be more than welcome to try it," she said.

She said if she goes through with the idea of leaving her child at a hospital and invoking the Safe Haven law, it won't be a decision she'll make lightly.

"That's what I'm struggling with in my mind. Is it the right thing? Is it Christianly? (Is it) the right thing?" she said. "It's hard to say how you feel after you wash your hands of a child."

It's cases like hers that prompted a 30-day age limit for children dropped off under the Safe Haven law.

Instead, they're vowing to make sure families can get help in a crisis.

The original safe haven law was intended to prevent newborns from being dumped in trash bins or worse.

But without an age limit, the consequences have startled lawmakers and others. None of the 35 children dropped off since September has been an infant, and most have been preteens and teenagers.

Nebraska Gov. Dave Heineman will likely sign the bill into law so it goes into effect at 12:01 a.m. Saturday.