In preparation for my impending nuptials, I have been seeking advice from the married people around me. The latest tidbit I got caught me by surprise.

Out with a group of friends, I asked a married couple of 10 years how to keep the relationship interesting and working. The wife quickly replied, "Keep secrets," as the husband stared into his beer, unfazed.

At first I recoiled, thinking, "This woman has a successful marriage based on betrayal, including a torrid affair with the milkman!" but gradually it started to make some sense.

"He doesn't need to know everything," she said, a line I had heard many times before. As she explained, holding back gave her a sense of empowerment and mystery.

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I began to think of the many secrets I have -- past experiences, my "number," the time I actually got home from my girlfriend's the other night, what my bridal gown looks like, my true weight.

It's not that I'm actively hiding this information, I'm just not providing it upfront. Jack's not curious, or brave, enough to ask.

He's not the type to worry too much about the past, and he's more concerned about us getting along after the wedding, at this point. The amount of student loans I have weighs heavier than the number of boyfriends I had in college.

Am I being deceitful not to tell all? If you ask my married advisor, not at all; I'm just keeping it interesting.

Come to find out, for some, keeping little secrets is not about betrayal but about holding onto as much of an individual identity as possible and having stories to share after their partners think they have heard it all. Of course, some people take this all too far, having affairs, hiding their credit card debt and telling other harmful lies.

But in the least harmful sense, keeping secrets is a way to keep my memories and experiences special, especially the ones that he wouldn't want to hear, at least not yet.

To make sure it's not a female thing, I asked some men if they share all. My friend Jeff quickly assured me that his wife does not nearly know everything about him. She knows him better than anyone else, but she doesn't know some of the things he did when he was younger. As far as he's concerned, she's better off.

Then I think about how my mom used to hide stuff my brothers or I did from my dad in order to keep him sane. He may have missed out on a few stories, but I don't hear him complaining.

I don't have a trunk full of stories Jack would find displeasing, but I also didn't live my life up until I met him with him in mind. Sometimes I find that when I do tell him something he isn't excited about, I feel the need to defend myself. That just takes away from my memories of the experience.

As I get closer to the big day, my friend's little bit of advice is helping me relax about letting go of every shred of the Laura I know. I know I'm being overdramatic as my feet start to freeze, but I want more than anything to take on this new challenge without letting go of what got me there, the times I had without him that were just for me, the bad choices I made that I haven't made again.

Luckily for Jack, or perhaps unfortunately for him, I am mostly an open book, so closing the cover is not some mighty task I will take on.

No matter how interesting it may be, I don't intend to live my married life keeping him in the dark. I expect him to be honest in return, enlightening me with stories of the past here and there.

When I move in and we start married life, it won't be so easy to hide anyway. I may try to cover up the remnants of my latest shopping spree, but our joint checking account won't be so secret.

Laura Lewis is an adventurous 20-something who knows how to make the most of being single. Her column appears every other Thursday.