When I was trudging through my early 20s, I couldn't wait until the day that I could declare myself off the market and somehow come out on top.

When that day came, I expected the news to send shockwaves through the bachelor community. I thought letters would pour in asking, "How could it happen?" and "Why? Why?"

Like most fantasies, that one failed to materialize.

A few men I dated expressed surprise, but only one really seemed to be affected: Paul, my best college friend and "backup husband."

When I heard Paul on the other side of the phone line when I delivered the news, it suddenly hit me that his offer to marry me at age 40 if no one else snatched me up really didn't make a difference anymore.

Until I heard his confusion, I hadn't realized how much I missed the guy who would lie next to me on the school football turf watching the stars in the wee hours of the morning. As my relationship with my fiance developed, I didn't realize that there would be no more late nights with Paul.

As I digested that everything really was changing, my default betrothed soon announced some news of his own.

Earlier this week, I received an e-mail from my MIA pal. The words "a ring, a girl and a future together" stuck in my mind. The reaction I'd expected from him and all the other men came from me -- big time.

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I had started to feel us grow apart since college graduation. Moving to different cities, making new friends and lovers and just getting busy meant getting together was not as convenient as walking across campus to hang out.

But now I was suddenly being completely and permanently replaced. I was his partner in crime; what was she doing in my place?

I like the woman all right. She seems nice, but I don't really know her that well, just like Paul doesn't know my fiance. As our distance from each other grew, our bonds with others strengthened.

It's hard to justify complaining about my friend's happiness when I'm engaged myself. But it just drives home the point that the space for male friends is getting smaller as I approach married life.

My friend Meredith watched her relationship with her guy pal diminish as he headed to the altar. It hurt to adjust to his absence, but it wasn't exactly her doing.

I worry that male friends get so consumed with one woman that they don't worry about the ones before her. I'm not talking about exes, but friends who helped them through past relationships and made life more fun.

My fiance maintains friendships with girls from high school, but its the females who keep the connection going.

Perhaps as men grow they find less time for more than one girl. Or maybe it's the permanent partner calling the shots.

Either way, I don't intend to lose Paul to another. Don't worry, I'm not going to go chasing after him at his wedding like in the movies.

But I'm going to keep in touch. Those late nights making each other laugh, walking around campus without a worry and setting the standard for what the opposite sex should be are far behind us, but the bond that made it all so fun isn't breakable.

I just hope he realizes it, too.

Laura Lewis is an adventurous 20-something who knows how to make the most of being single. Her column appears every other Thursday.