Philadelphia, PA -- (Sports Network) - Here's what we know - at least two PGA Tour professionals have been drug-tested.

Noted street toughs Charles Howell III and Davis Love III were reportedly tested last week, when the PGA Tour's drug-testing program started at the AT&T National. (Apparently, the tour starts its list based on the number of times your name passed through generations.)

Results are not expected back soon, though I seriously doubt they will uncover anything newsworthy.

Guys will flunk these drug tests for sure, but maybe not for the reasons you think. There are an inordinate amount of banned substances, and it's conceivable that one player or maybe two did not read their manuals thoroughly.

The first offender will be the biggest deal. The only other big fish is Mr. Woods and since he's been the loudest spokesperson for testing, he'd look like the world's biggest idiot with a positive test. Plus, let's assume Woods and his 28-inch waist know exactly what's going into his mouth.

Phil Mickelson would be a nice catch, but has lost some weight in recent years. If he's on steroids, he's using them incorrectly.

So why bother? Golf doesn't have a steroid problem, right?

Maybe, maybe not. That's the whole point.

If you look at the professional baseball players that have tested positive, why be shocked at anything? Paul Byrd couldn't beat me in arm wrestling, yet the pitcher tested positive.

You don't think athletes at the top of their sport are stupid enough to test positive? Shawne Merriman of the San Diego Chargers might disagree. He was a legitimate contender for Defensive Player of the Year in 2006, and flunked a drug test. Merriman served a four-game suspension, which is now barely a blip on the radar.

Most players involved in professional baseball who tested positive for something illegal were in the minor leagues. Some guys are close to the big show, but need a little something else. You're wasting away in your late 20s on the Hooters Tour and know a little more distance is all you need for your chance at the limelight. Hope you aren't afraid of needles.

All of these examples could easily apply to golf. Athletics is athletics. Competition is competition. And money is money.

Yet we don't think golf has a steroid or drug problem of any kind? Why? Is it that our competitors wear pleated pants? Maybe guys like Tim Herron and John Daly look more likely to lift a box of Ring Dings than a weight?

Power is every bit as important in golf as in any sport. Sure, it's not a power that requires you to allude a walking monument or hit a ball coming at you at more than 90 mph, but power helps for sure. Accuracy is great, but if you're in the rough and only have a wedge to a green, that helps.

For a long time, I resisted the notion that golf had a steroid problem, and it wasn't until recently that I changed that stance. It's not that I think there is a ground swell of drug abusers, but, call me jaded, I just don't know for sure.

Do you think Davis Love III or Charles Howell III is on steroids? Me neither, but I don't know for sure. I will soon.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

- Tiger Woods' decision to skip the Ryder Cup altogether doesn't shock me. He turned down a chance to go as a makeshift captain's assistant. While I can see why Paul Azinger and others would want him around, he'd be too big a distraction. Woods made the right call.

- Kenny Perry made the wrong call. Again, he's skipping a major to play in an event he's had success in, with his eyes on the Ryder Cup. Perry, probably the hottest player in the universe right now, wants to play the John Deere this week and will take off next week for the British Open, where he would probably be a favorite at Royal Birkdale. News flash, Mr. Perry - you're going to make the Ryder Cup team. Majors are infinitely more important than the Ryder Cup.

- I've heard about all I want from Tom Pernice, Jr. He's the sort to talk about how bad things are whenever he takes the pulpit. Pernice complained about Commissioner Tim Finchem not getting involved in club grooves, and making Tiger and other big stars play more events. Tell ya what Tommy, hang on to that lead you blew on Sunday and maybe you'll sound more like a thoughtful guy with a point, and less like a whiner.

- I'm officially decreeing that if Michelle Wie doesn't make the cut this week, she's no longer newsworthy. Truth be told, the line of her relevance is behind her, but I'm a sweet man. I asked this question in a recent column and the people spoke, so it's one last chance for Wie.

- Non-golf thought - Brett Favre, I beg you to stay retired. It's just getting so tiresome to read every day that you have an itch to play again. Think Bill Clinton has the itch to be President again? I'm sure Al Pacino's got an itch for another Oscar, but sometimes it doesn't work out. Stay retired, protect your legacy, and get out of my newspaper unless you're delivering on a Schwinn.