I've been a journalist for 20 years. I started in September of 1989 in Lewiston, Idaho -- just 3 months after graduating from the University of Washington. I took some time off after my boys were born, but other than that I have worked the demanding schedule that is television news. I have to say now, not working, I feel lost. I am looking for a deadline, looking for a story to tell, looking for a schedule, missing my colleagues. I know am incredibly fortunate to be able to stay home during this time so my body can rest and do what it needs to do to fight the cancer - but I'm finding it's just not easy for me.

I want to be at work, but on the weeks I get my chemo I am too weak to do much of anything other than sit on the couch, snuggled in a blanket. The following week my white blood cell count is so low that I'm at risk for infection. I have to say because of my low white blood cell count I find I am constantly washing my hands and worrying when someone wants to hug me or shake my hand. Let's just say I carry a lot of hand sanitizer! It's been an adjustment.

When I first told my News Director I wanted to blog about my experience I thought I could write once a week or so. What I didn't realize when we came up with that plan is that with every chemo treatment my nausea is sticking around just a bit longer, making it difficult for me to sit down in front of my computer and write. Maybe I'll aim for blogging every other week! The type of chemo drug I'm getting (cancer patients call it the "red devil") builds up over time so that's why this is happening, why I am sicker, longer. I have one more to go of the "red devil" (Monday, the 9th) so I am very excited about getting this part behind me! After that, I will start 12 weeks of another drug and will get that every Monday.

I do want to tell you about an amazing event I helped judge this past Saturday, November 7th. It was the first ever "Queens for a cure" benefit pageant. It was founded by two wonderful young ladies who wanted to raise money for breast cancer research after a mutual friend's mother died from breast cancer. The pageant brought out 70 contestants. Since this was the first year for the pageant the founders weren't sure how much money the contestants would raise -- the goal was $5,000.

Much to their surprise, Saturday's pageant raised more than $10,000 for breast cancer research! The money is going to the Susan G. Komen for the cure. When the announcement was made I stood up and clapped along with the rest of the audience and my eyes filled with tears. All of this love and support for women they've never met -- hoping someday there will be a cure. That is my hope, too.

Until next time, Michelle